Re-Entry Shock

"It is easy to assume that your returning to your home community and natural family will be more or less problem-free. After all, you are returning to your native culture, to a place where you speak the language fluently and have family members and trusted friends awaiting your arrival. But the fact is that (a) the greater the cultural differences (b) the longer time spent in your host country and (c) the more well adjusted you became while there, the greater the chances that reverse shock will cause difficulties for you.

1. returnees almost always think that with their return home will be free of problems (if they think about it at all). This is almost never the case. Consequently, in addition to having to deal with the problems of re-entry, they also must accept the hash fact that they were either mistaken or unaware of the difficulties and therefore unprepared to face these difficulties of re-entry.

2. Returnees almost always have changed and matured in numerous ways during their experience abroad. They have grown enormously in self-assurance, in their need for independence and respect, and in their knowledge about worldly ideas. The friends and family members whom they meet upon return do not fully realize this: they treat the returnee as though hs/she were the same as the day he/she left.

3. Returnees find that they are sharply aware of many features of their home culture and environment they have previously never noticed, or at least never questioned. Becoming suddenly and acutely aware of so many things that were previously taken for granted is not a seriously problem: the problem is the returnee often feels critical of many of these things. The criticism is usually expressed to old friends and family members, who in turn become annoyed with the "negative attitude" of the returnee. Even if the returnee manages to keep her criticisms to herself, she is disturbed to find herself feeling negative about people and events in the place she calls home.

4. Returnees usually come home bursting with stories, ideas, facts, and all kinds of interesting things to tell anyone who will listen. What they find however is that almost everyone they talk to either (a) will not listen or (b) listens politely but simply cannot comprehend the richness and detail of the returnee's experiences. These behaviors may be a cause of considerable annoyance. However, the empathetic returnee will keep in mind that little more than half a year prior, she might have had similar attitudes toward a returning traveler.

5. Finally, returnees bring back with them many new values, attitudes and patterns of behavior. Their new patterns tend to be most sharply different with respect to those who they feel closest and love most dearly. This particular change occurs because in their host community they became attached to a few special people and learned how to behave toward these people according to the patterns characteristic of the host culture. Upon coming home, the returnee encounters people whom she also loves and immediately begins interacting with them as she learned to interact with loved ones in the host culture. In many cases however, the old friends and the family members are bewildered and possibly even offended by this strange behavior. They, in turn, begin to act a little strangely toward the returnee and thus the seeds of misunderstanding are sown.

What can you do to minimize these and similar problems regarding your own homecoming? Here are two suggestions:

-Try not to have false expectations about returning home. Don't expect it to be free of problems
-As soon as it is practical after your return to your home community, get in touch with someone who has had an experience similar to yours. An AFS returnee would be ideal but someone who has lived abroad would work too. Arrange to get together with this person on two or thee occasions and when you do, talk together about your experiences away from home and about your feelings and problems upon returning.

Have a good journey
--"The AFS STUDENT STUDY GUIDE"--"

クリスマス

So it’s been a long LONG time since I last updated this blog…uh…sorry about that.

I’m pretty sure that I start ALL of my entries with that.

Anyways, today is Christmas!! Yay!!! Too bad it doesn’t feel like it AT ALL.

Christmas in Japan is one of the most awkward things I have seen EVER. To the Japanese, Christmas is a time to eat cake, fried chicken, give toys to kids, and go on dates. I really don’t see why they have it at all. Christmas REALLY IS more than just presents and jolly fat guys. It is jammed pack with history and tradition. So, here are a few things about Japan and Christmas
-Presents are from Santa to Kids only
-Unless you have a Christmas party, in which case it’s a good time to break out the Bingo and Bingo for first picks of 500yen presents (5$ about)
-Nearly everyone eats chicken on Christmas Eve, but not just any chicken, fried chicken and preferably from KFC. (The best explanation I got for this one is Mr. Sanders looks like Santa)
-Delivery Pizzas are also a good dinner option because the delivery guy dresses up as Santa
-There are no stockings
-Presents are placed at the head of the child’s bed
-There is typically only one present
-Parents and kids seem to be unaware of any coal, naughty and nice list, or anything else threatening like that
-They have special Christmas cakes.
-They had a music concert special on TV instead of the classic holiday movies and Yule log
-young people go on dates because it’s romantic
-It’s basically our New Years

Things they are really missing out on:
-Threatening children with Santa not coming
-eggnog
-receiving presents
-family
-movies
-holiday lights
-snow
-making reindeer food (oatmeal and glitter)
-paper snowflakes
-gingerbread everything
-a real dinner
-EVERYTHING

So, this is what I did for Christmas:
-Went bowling (yeah…I average around a 35)
-went to an okonomiyaki restaurant (okonomiyaki complete with cross made of mayo for my daily bread)
-came home to a party of kindergartners and their moms trying to organize…anything.
-at leftover party food and a Christmas cake
-made cookies (host parent’s present)
-stayed up till 3 making said cookies and helping Santa
-woke up at 12 the next day
-got a sweater and chocolate from Santa and sushi for lunch
-went to “go see” snow on top of one of the mountains but there was none
-went home and opened the presents from my (American) parents sent
-played chutes and ladders

That about covers it.

Overall I’m looking forward to New Years because it is the main event in Japan…and Christmas is not.

Also, I got my “going home” packet today. I really only have a month left…


(pictures are the creepy Santa at the "American Store" which sold cowboy boots and overpriced American Stuff--very entertaining, what was left of the Christmas Cake on Natchan, the Christmas party, amusing mirrors i found at the 100yen store, and the boxes i planned on shipping but thankfully found smaller ones)

Japanese Parties...

This is a special post for Japanese Parties.

Because they sure are something special.

So far the parties I have been to are the AFS day party, AFS X-mas party, and the international club Halloween and x-mas parties.

Today was the international club Christmas party. We all went to the old cooking room to make food including pumpkin pie, pizza, soup and sandwiches (all the Christmas traditionals). That part was fun. So was eating it. After that is when the Japanese organization tends to come in. There was a "band" of sorts consisting of a guitarist...sort of...a pianist...sort of...and a vocalist and tambourines...
Their performance was the first time playing together..
well THAT was fun.
Other than that we did NOTHING. Except some guy ate too much and threw up.
Students sat around wondering what to do next.
There was a present exchange and that wasn't bad.

The problem with Japanese parties is that there is way too much organization. There is also more time spent cleaning and preparing than actually enjoying the party. and there are official start and end times just like the parties I went to when I was about 6 or so.

they also play games like bingo. WHO PLAYS BINGO FOR FUN?!

So, just a warning to future people Japan visitors. Don't come for the parties.

I think I heard the foreigner parties are much more fun though.

tests and such

Well, this is one of the first weekends off I’ve had in a while. Actually, technically I should be studying for the tests this week…but they don’t really matter so I’m not too concerned. I sound like I’m lazy but there is a good reason for it. The last several weeks have been consumed by studying and writing essays. After my soccer practice with the old guys, I had to finish up my college essays which took me until Monday. It is NOT fun trying to write essays that will hopefully get you admitted into a good college when you’ve been immersed in another language for 3 months or so. NOT FUN.
Does the period go after the last word or at the beginning of the next sentence?
What’s another word for “said”?
I can’t think of a transition to save my life!
Why is part of my essay in hiragana???

Yeah.

Anyways, directly after my essays I realized I have a huge Japanese proficiency test this coming Sunday… maybe I should get studying for that.

I don’t think it was very fair of the LPs to ask us if we wanted to do the test when we were still new and not completely tired yet. They had convinced (aka pressured) me into doing N4 which is an intermediate level. My thinking was (back in August) hey, the test is in December! I’m fineeeeee.
Hah.
The first part of the test was reading and vocab. That was probably the hardest. You had to pick the right pronunciation of different Kanji which really played to my weak side. I can read the kanji fine, but the pronunciation is rarely there because I most of the time know the meaning and sometimes the pronunciation in Chinese. Yay.
The second part was grammar and that was a bit easier….but then again I still guessed most of them.
Listening was easy. But it also started to get too easy to where I got comfortable and forgot to listen to some of the questions…and they’re only read once.

So, all in all, the test was a giant pain and I’m glad it’s over.

Other than my lack of knowledge about the Japanese language, I also found out another thing. I don’t like the other foreigners here. (Most of them anyways) The other exchange students are fine, but the English teachers just drive me insane. My thinking was, “Hey! Other foreign people I can relate to!” They’re thinking is “Look, another student.” or “Another kid.” They all (mostly) think they are so wise and mature and old and I’m just some teenage girl from America. You would think that MAYBE just MAYBE the exchange students here are a LITTLE more mature than you’re average teenager seeing as we came here by ourselves, most of us away from home for the first time, to learn about a different culture and WHATNOT. So please stop treating us like children.
Example: Coming back from the test with one of the American teachers from my school and his friends who are also English teachers. One of the female English teachers, who took the SAME test as me, was talking about how she can’t pull off those long nights anymore and her dinner is based on whether she wants to do dishes or not. That somehow turned into how most Japanese homes don’t have dish washers. I said that my host family has one, but never uses it. I do the dishes by myself. She then took the opportunity to say something along the lines of “well, good that’s how it should be. You could use some good dish washing. I’ve washed enough dishes in my lifetime” sort of thing. A nice character building speech from some lady I don’t even know. Thank you for letting me finish and say my host mom also doesn’t use the dish washer anyways. Also, you’re how old?! My guess is still in your twenties seeing as the teacher at my school is 25. So no! You have not earned the right to say you’ve washed enough dishes! My grandma can say that! And also, you aren’t single handedly washes dishes for a family of 5, you just have your own to take care of which probably consists more of instant ramen cups than actual dishes.

“It was nice meeting you too!”

NOT.



Anyways.

One thing I noticed in Japan is the use of a symbol to mark shrines and such. It was brought to my attention by someone yelling “Oh my god! Did you see! They use the Nazi sign for shrines here!” as if it was some big scandal like they were hiding mini Nazis and the ashes of victims in the actual shrines.
That is ridiculous.
I knew it wasn’t the Nazi sign, but I didn’t know what the real meaning was so I checked the internet for some help. The sign used on the shrines is actually different than the Nazi sign; the arms point counterclockwise. The sign is a symbol of the sun and means purity, power and luck. Overall good things! It has been used since ancient times in a variety of different cultures. However, the Nazis took this symbol and transformed it into something horrible. The symbol itself means nothing bad at all. This doesn’t mean its ok for people to etch it on their desks and whatnot.
I’m glad I looked closer though.

Yesterday was the Christmas party for Shiga-ken’s AFS. It was pretty fun. I spent all yesterday morning making cookies that turned out pretty well! They were strawberry and blueberry sugar cookie type things. I just realized I forgot to take a picture…
One thing I have noticed about Japanese parties is that they are SO ORGANIZED. Or rather TOO organized. The Halloween party at school, the AFS parties, etc., are full of schedules and signs and lists and name tags and gah! All you really need to do is get an open space with music and people and you’re set! There is no need to organize a giant thing of bingo. I was trying to think of what American parties are like and they really are just food you can get at any time, as much as you want (no, two pieces of dessert at a time rule), talking, music, (and with my family at least) cards. But not really organized cards, more along the lines of whoever wants to play just sit down and play. Also, most American parties don’t have a set “end” time. People just come and go. In Japan, there is an actual start (like, “O.K. everyone. We’re going to start now) and an actual finish where everyone goes home at the same time.
Good thing I didn’t pick to go to Japan for the crazy parties.

Pictures are the soccer game I went to with Sam (Marie's host father) it was the only grass field in Japan I've seen so far, my drawing of Marie, and my advent calender from the Melers!! and a famous temple in Kyoto.